Beginning a New Year and New Decade

This is my first blog entry for this welcome New Year, and the beginning of a new Decade. It seems to have become obligatory to come up with New Year's Resolutions. Somehow the connotation has come to be that the resolve is to rid oneself of bad habits, more than developing a plan of action to add new facets to oneself.

Many years ago, when I was writing previously, I compared the Self to a faceted jewel. That, as we mature the jewel of the Self is polished, creating more and more facets. The larger planes are aspects which we have spent the most effort on. What determines the jewel type are the various kinds of faceting created.

Since, in the Western-world Culture, which I am addressing, individuals are discouraged from focusing on themselves from the earliest years, (it goes along with the idea of "selfishness") this may take a great deal of introspection. While consideration of others and their feelings is, certainly, not a bad quality to have acquired, it is, in effect, Programming to ignore the Self.

If you are looking at your life during this traditional time of introspection, instead of focusing on what you don't like about what you have become over time, why not focus on those positive aspects that you have created?

While recent generations of young people have received the opposite message, which is, what they want/like/desire/feel is of paramount importance, not only to themselves, but to the adults in their lives, as indicated, those others, of previous generations, were taught the exact opposite. As a result, even being able to recognize what ones own positive qualities are, will take a good deal of introspection.

It has been my experience, in working with people in various ways, that the majority of adults believe that very few people share their negative aspects, while the vast majority of their positive qualities are common, and not worthy of mention. Unfortunately, the opposite is usually the case.

As noted, most Resolutions tend to be around what are, basically, bad habits we have fallen into. Of course, when these habits begin to interfere with our relationships with ourselves, (loss of self-respect) or the respect of others, attention must be paid to them.

But, for a change, why not focus on making a list, (in your Journal, if you have started one) of what could be considered your positive aspects and life achievements? As indicated, positive qualities in particular, generally are undervalued by the person who has developed them; in my opinion, I cannot stress this enough.

Better yet, draw a picture of a jewel as a "self-portrait," and note what you have drawn. As indicated, Jewels come in many shapes and types of faceting. After drawing the jewel, label the facets you have created in your drawing. Play with this idea.

Many individuals spend a great deal of time and money early in life creating their major facets through education, and/or the learning of a trade or skill. Back when, it used to be common for women, who had married and raised children, when asked what they did, (meaning work) to say that they were, "just a housewife." This statement, of course, indicates how much what they do or did was undervalued by, not only others, but themselves.

Those who have spent a large number of years occupied in other tasks also tend to undervalue, or not be aware of, the skills they have developed. As I indicated in a previous blog, one of my Degrees is from a Competence-based University, where it was required in order to enroll to spell out what one's competencies were, in order to figure out how to establish that one was, indeed, competent in various work-related and personal skills. Anyone entering that program gained much self-esteem in the process.

In the final analysis, of course, the true value of what one has become over time, is determined by its actual survival value. In a previous blog, I noted that all of life is a test. In times of crises, those abilities, skills and personal attributes are then tested. Much of what are believed, by many, to be important skills and knowledge, find they amount to nothing under such testing.

With that thought, I end this blog.

Shirley Gallup