Having Goals and Plans Versus, "Going With the Flow"

In this blog, I want to ruminate around the ideas of having goals, and making plans as opposed to the idea of, "going with the flow" as well as the importance of intentions.  What set my thinking in this direction is that I am currently reading a book, by a well-known personality, who talks about her over-riding need to accomplish a set goal, regardless of the personal cost.  This is a trait she believes she got from her mother who, once she set herself a goal was fanatical in reaching it.  That is the extreme to which Goal setting can go.

Most of us are familiar with the goals of losing weight, quitting smoking, etc., etc., and the, frequent failure to reach those goals which many people experience.  Plans implemented to achieve those goals are generally established and taken on by the individual.  While such established plans/methods have varying degrees of potential for success, personal habits have a way of sabotaging them.  Failures generally result in an increase of feelings of negativity toward the self. 

There is, also, the common practice, at a young age, of committing to a goal, such as, making a million dollars by the age of 30, or of becoming famous, etc., etc.  Such a plan often results in a sense of failure if this plan does not work out, setting in place a belief, thereafter, of being a failure.  This is so, despite having made no serious effort to figure out a practical means/plans of making that million, becoming famous, etc.  I once had a friend in the '60s, who made acquaintance with a man who was a millionaire at a fairly young age, due to having become involved in the oil-well industry.  My friend regularly bemoaned the fact that he didn't, also, have a million dollars like that acquaintance.  I pointed out to him that he might have had a million dollars by then, if he wasn't more interested in scuba diving, playing his guitar, enjoying time with friends, etc., etc., than focusing on making money.

Having a goal in mind, such as getting an Advanced Degree in a certain branch of education, with the further goal of that becoming a life occupation, is common.  Many individuals with such goals frequently find, in the course of getting that education, that there is no real interest in the subject/field; that it was perhaps a goal suggested by one's parents, or vocation of the family--medicine, the military, etc.  Or, perhaps, the income to be expected had influenced the forming of that particular goal.  Even if one does achieve the goal of a particular degree in a field, upon graduation one may find that actually being accepted into the field may require a good deal more personal effort to achieve even a beginning entry into the field.  Such difficulties rarely are factored into the planning of what is a major life decision.

Goals and plans tend to be lumped together, as indicated above.  But, perhaps because of sports, goals seem to have taken on more importance for many over the years, with planning being neglected.  Goals can be thought of as the prize one has in mind, while Plans are generally a map or strategy toward achieving a Goal.

There is a major disjoint in peoples minds, currently, as to how one achieves a Goal.  The person in the book I am reading seemed to only think in terms of Goals, with no kind of Plan in mind.  The desire to win a prize, is exemplified by the idea of winning the Lottery--becoming rich overnight, with little effort--as well as that of becoming "famous," are the modern pot-of-gold-at-the-end-of-the-rainbow dreams.  As to how this relates to Goals and Plans, this modern insanity can be stated as, "My plan is to win the Lottery."  I am reminded of a story about a man who wanted more than anything to win the Lottery.  As time passed, and Lotteries came and went, he never was the winner, and he proceeded to curse God for having failed him by not granting his wish to win the Lottery.  This went on over time; after one session of this, he heard a voice which said, "I would really have liked to help you out Joe, but tell me, couldn't you have, just once, gone out and bought a Lottery Ticket?"

Incidentally, research has found that the majority of those who have actually won a major lottery, after a few years, are no better off than before winning it, most having squandered the winnings.

As noted, while having a Plan, (or a Plan A, Plan B, etc.) implies that, perhaps, some thought has been given as to how one might achieve what one desires, it is rare to meet someone who has actually analyzed what it takes to accomplish something in life.  An often quoted saying is, "The best laid plans of mice and men, gang-aft-agley." (From the story, Of Mice and Men)  The current common practice today, is to bumble and stumble through life.  By making plans one can gain a better understanding of what will be involved in accomplishing that which is being planned; in other words, to, "plan the work, and work the plan."  

For the individual, in the book that I am reading, setting a goal and single-mindedly working to achieve it was a life pattern.  For those who are, "goal setters" the goals tend to be, "set-in-stone," kinds of ideas.  Such goals seem to have a, "bull headed" aspect--a "do-or-die" kind of thing.  (Come to think of it, I think she said she was a Taurus, {the bull}--hum).  Focusing on the goal, rather than the process of moving toward the goal, causes one to be caught up in the opposite of what is meant by, "Going with the flow."  Ignoring the journey has the result of having missed out on living life--paying attention to the flow of existence. 

The phrase, "Going with the flow," has come to be a common catch phrase, much like, "Rule of thumb" has become for people; dropped into the conversational mix with no thought of what it means.  (I have written about the origins of, "Rule of Thumb" previously, as its misuse is a major peeve of mine,  and will not repeat myself here.)  "Going with the flow," is a very powerful idea, the origin of which can be traced to the teachings and practice of Zen Buddhism, which made its appearance in the West back in the '60s.  As indicated above, in my interpretation, "going with the flow," can be restated as, "not fighting against and/or fearing what presents itself to you in your life."

Using the word, "intentions," as in, "I intend to make a million dollars by the time I am 30," is a common misunderstanding of the concept.  Also, how often we hear, "I didn't intend that to happen!"  Or, "I intended to do, (thus and so), but I forgot."  Unfortunately, dropping-the-ball, in this  fashion seems to be one of the major forms of human failings.  Such failures of intentions, have had an overlay placed on them by the saying, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

There is power in intentions, however, if we learn how to use them.  This form of intention is a statement; "It is my intention that...."  I have a friend who, when she gets up in the morning, regularly says, "I feel unstable today."  I tell her that by saying, "I feel unstable today," she is stating an intention to her body to be carried out.  I say, "You should see me wobbling about in the morning; so I say, 'It is my intention that I will be, strong, steady and balanced on my feet all day long'."  This is a message/instruction to my physical self.  When I get in my car to go somewhere, I state to myself, "It is my intention that all of my trips in my car today, will be fast, safe and easy."  When we make various unthinking statements throughout the day, they are received as intentions; and we are, unwittingly, programming ourselves to bring those things about.

When we become aware of various feelings we experience, of a negative nature, by stating the opposite, or stating a positive affirmation, it also works in this way.  Positive affirmations are not, "Just some silly New Age nonsense," they are statements of intention.  If one is fearful, by stating positive affirmations such as, "I am safe and strong," and sending out positive feelings one can dissipate anxiety and fear.  You attract what you focus on.  By focusing on positive thoughts and affirmations you attract positive outcomes. 

Dissatisfaction seems to be a constant state of mind in this modern world, at least in the Western World.  Continually longing for something we don't have, or that someone else has, whether it is the latest technological device, or personal relationships, is a form of negative thinking.  It seems to me that the best course, in attempting to correct one's course in life, or have a satisfying life, is to gain an understanding of how goals, plans and the intentions we have set in motion, frequently at an earlier age, but also daily, shape our lives.  For many, the perceived personal failures resulting from goals, plans and desires not being fulfilled have resulted in, not only dissatisfaction with our lives, but various self-esteem issues. 

By putting into practicing the idea of not fighting against and/or fearing what presents itself to you in your life--going with the flow--and understanding how you can begin to take control of your life, you can change your life.  By learning how to use intention statements in this way to set the tone of your day, and using positive affirmations throughout the day, and in everyday situations can reshape ones attitude as well.  In other words, begin to take control of your life, rather than letting life control you.

With that suggestion, I end this blog.

Shirley Gallup