Our Personalities

In this blog I want to ruminate around the subject of personalities, and what makes up our personalities.  This topic has been brought on by the, "in-your-face" personality of Justin Bieber, a young musician who seems to be defined by his public persona, one which in times past would have been described as a, "spoiled brat."  A recent outbreak in the news of this particular personality was accompanied by a picture of him as a young boy.  The only difference between the young picture and the current ones is the face is longer.   Obviously his mother's little darling.

Unfortunately, he is an apt poster child for the ever-growing membership of an entitlement population, spawned by the child psychologists who preach the gospel of actively promoting a false self-esteem in young children.

In Justin Bieber we have an example of a Famous Personality; other examples of the type are Madonna, the Kardasians, and whats-her-name--Lady GaGa--who seems to have imploded recently, along with a number of other recently or currently famous individuals, a number of whom have ended up in rehab.  

While we seem to currently be bombarded by a large number of such famous young individuals, stars of one kind or another, who become the current role models for so many, it is easy to miss that all of us have developed personalities as a natural outcome of interacting with the world we live in.

A dictionary gives a wide range of definitions for, "personality."  In general, according to those definitions, "personality," can be either a visible aspect of an individual's character or a collection of qualities.  As an overall description, "personality," is defined as, "a pattern of behavioral characteristics."  The fact that we are encouraged to identify with our personalities is shown by the definition: "the quality of being a person; existence as a self-conscious human being; personal identity," (Dictionary.com).

The problem with identifying with our personality, is major, mainly, by identifying with the personality, there is little encouragement to examine it.  Firstly, few of us have enough self-awareness to be able to sort out the various aspects of ourselves, which manifest as our personality, and, secondly, the lack of an understanding that each of us is much more than our personality, being only an aspect of who we are as humans.  Making the problem more difficult is the fact that, as in the dictionary definition, other people also usually believe that the personality they experience truly represents who we are.  

The idea that the personality is not the sum total of an individual, but only the public face of the person has not been generally acknowledged by the various fields of Psychiatry and Psychology, the major exception being that of C.G. Jung.  Jung, in the '50s, in his writings introduced his concept of what he named, the "Persona."  (In Jungian Psychology, the Persona is the mask or façade presented to satisfy the demands of the situation...and not representing the inner personality of the individual, (that is) the public personality, (Dictionary.com).

In actuality, individuals generally have a variety of personality masks which they alternate depending on the particular situation, or company, they are in: one for work, one for family, one for friends, etc., etc.

Discovering what we manifest as our personality, is essential if we hope to become self-aware.  (To become more self-aware is what I have been trying to promote in this blog.)  Understanding that our personality is actually only an aspect of who we are as human beings; identifying what we are projecting out into the world when we are interacting with other people, can help unravel problems we may have socially.  

Our general attitude toward other people and our overall world view are major components of the personality we carry, which is, essentially, a complex growing out of our personal life experiences.  In the past, one such component of one's public personality has been described as, "having a chip on one's shoulder, (inviting others to knock it off)."  Another is carrying an aura of, "I'm special," (arising out of, perhaps, having special talents, or been endowed with more than an average appearance)."  (The other face of that one is, being raised to feel unloved, or indoctrinated to feel one has no value.)   Obviously, how we have been raised, and our role in the family, has a great influence in the personality we develop.  

This brings me to the problems created by the breakup of the older, extended families.  With the advent of the current model of nuclear families; mother and/or father and children cut off from the support of the prior generation, the experts came to be the go-to source for advice in how to raise children.  

For me, occasionally reading advice columns, has led me to an understanding of just how much of a social problem now exists.  Alternatively, reading the comics in the newspaper featuring family dynamics also shows how distorted the family situation has become.  Having grown up, for all practical purposes, in a different world, allows me to see how different family dynamics are from what they were a half-century ago.

After reading a number of these advice columns, it seems to me that many people feel powerless, when it comes to their lives.  Further, when it comes to changing relationships, much questioning has to do with trying to get the other person to change, rather than considering changing something about oneself.  If you do not have any idea of what you are presenting to the world, it is little wonder that one feels powerless to bring about a positive change.

Unfortunately, perforce, everyone perceives everything through the filters of their own personal upbringing Indoctrination in the form of experiences, so it can be difficult to decode the messages being given, without such a perspective.
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With an understanding that our personality is only our public face, in effect, a mask, which we can put on, or take off, at will, may give one enough detachment in order to consider examining them.  If one is rarely not interacting with other people, whether one's family, or at work, or out in public, making time to be alone seems to me to be essential to such an endeavor.  Journaling is one way of talking with oneself and examining who we are underneath our public personality. 

And so, I end this blog.

Shirley Gallup