Changing Your Life One Step at a Time

In this blog, I am going to ruminate around the statement, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step," (credited variously to Lao Tzu, Confucius, and as a Chinese Proverb). This message was seen on posters during the '60's. Just what it means to oneself, may vary from person-to-person.

For me, this is a very profound statement, which has been passed down through time, and is just as relevant today, as it has ever been. Much of its meaning, of course, has to do with the fact that, if you want to get anywhere, you have to start somewhere. What isn't quite as obvious is that it implies having a goal, or destination in mind.

By "a thousand miles," this implies long-range goals. Long-range goals require preparation.

One only has to think about people who have set a goal of sailing around the world, solo, or swimming the English Channel. Other individuals have set a goal of traveling across this, or another, country: on foot, on bicycle, with a horse, with a Camel, etc. These journeys, for the individuals involved, were life-changing.

As to other kinds of goals, I am put in mind of the young farm lad, who was given a bull calf, and told that he should lift the calf every day, and that it would make him strong. (This may be a Paul Bunyan tale.)

I'm also reminded of the saying, "taking it one day at a time." Life is, after all, one day at a time. If you want to change your life in some way, you must start one day to do something different, and decide that, hereafter, you will continue to do that one thing differently. Having relapses is no reason to not pick up where you left off.

The point is, however, to have a goal. We are all familiar with the loose-weight goal; the stop-smoking goal; the exercise goal, etc., etc. These are well-and-good goals, but let us let them be, for the time being. The most important kind of goal, in my opinion, is one of personal growth.

Some tried and true methods are: to return to school, either full-time, or part-time, or to learn a new skill, or try out a new hobby of some kind.

Everyone has to start somewhere, so having a, "beginner's mind" is important. As a beginner, you are allowed to make mistakes, as it is considered to be part of the learning process. A contrary, and very unfortunate, human trait is that of continually judging the self. For the perfectionists among us, this is a particularly bad influence on our being able to accomplish anything.

In this regard, there is another, very interesting, Oriental belief, and that is: only God is perfection, so in any work created, some, deliberate, error or flaw is introduced.

Often one reads, in letters to help/advice columnists, questions regarding improving relationships or interactions with others, and are frequently answered with advise on improving oneself instead. (One can only shake one's head in amazement at some of the relationship situations reported; this one anyway.)

This blog is primarily about improving one's relationship with the self, by taking responsibility for oneself. What and who you are as an individual is reflected in all relationships.

"The journey of one thousand miles begins with one step." Sometimes that one step needs to be to sever one or more relationships. Another may be the need to sever perceived obligations.

With those words, I end this blog.

Shirley Gallup